Wednesday, 16 March 2011


Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
As you know I’m not one for a speech!
Can you hear me alright at the back?
This damn microphone lead won’t reach.

We hired a P.A. for the disco,
But the lead won’t reach over here.
So I’ll shout as loud as I can,
In between sups of beer.

Well, all in all it was a good turnout,
It would have been nice, but for the rain.
The wind blew off the Grooms top hat
And the Best Man dropped the ring down a drain.

But thanks to a passing Policeman,
We managed to retrieve it in time,
But that’s when we noticed our bloomer,
We’d left the Bridesmaids behind.

The Vicar dear chap was quite patient
And performed with a thespians ease,
He’s here tonight at the reception,
So Mother, mind your language please!

Didn’t the page boys look lovely?
And the Bridesmaids a sight to behold.
The photographer’s sorry he left early,
But he got fed up, waiting out in the cold.

Still I’ve brought my Kodak Instamatic
And I’ll be doing the rounds in a while,
To capture this momentous occasion,
So please, all try to smile.

Well thanks for the cards and the presents.
Along with the telegrams.
The Best Man will read them out in a minute,
He’s better at it, than I am.

As I said at the beginning,
I’m not one for a speech,
So here’s to the happy couple,
Good health to one and each.

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